..nOw & fOrevermOre..

..you'lL be my love fOrevermOre..

there are times
when i just want to look at your face
with the stars in the night
there are times 
when i just want to feel your embrace
in the cold of the night
i just cant believe that you are mine now

chorus:
you were just a dream that i once knew
i never thought i would be right for you
i just cant compare you with 
anything in this world
you're all i need to be with forevermore

all those years ive longed to hold you in my arms
i've been dreaming of you
every night, 
i've been watching all the stars that fall down
wishing you would be mine
i just cant believe that you were mine now

chorus

time and again
there are these changes that we cannot end
sure a star that  keeps going on and on
my love for you will be forevermore

wishing you would be mine
i just cant believe that you were mine now

you were just a dream that i once knew
i never thought i would be right for you
i just cant compare you with 
anything in this world
as endless as forever
our love will stay together
you're all i need to be with forever more
(as endless as forever
our love will stay together)
you're all i need
to be with forevermore...

... in soap bubbles!! ;-D

hay.. i was almost late… buti nalang I made it just in time! another of those friday sickness thing. blame it on my new addiction to soaps hehehe.. from qpids to angel na walang langit... kampanerang kuba and finally, ikaw ang lahat sa akin… sorry po mga kapuso, kapamilya channel lang meron ako dito hehe..

cors i only indulge on this when i have time to spare.. nakakaaliw talaga pag inaasar ni oliver (john lloyd) si jasmine (bea).. all his antics para lang mapansin siya are so endearing.. reminds me of high school and college days. (haaayy.. what i’d give to be young and care free again.. cors am not that old – yet!) lalo na in this specific episode when he hides behind jasmine’s locker and comes out handing her a rose.. and don’t forget, a joke in his sleeves.. jasmine laughs out loud and oliver stares, dumbfounded… they share a smile and jasmine says “salamat dahil napapasaya mo ako…” then she walks away. someone used to do that to me.. well not exactly in that way.. but the gesture is quite the same.. i only realize now that i haven’t really thanked him for making me feel special.

that’s life in teleserye.. baduy nga. but you’ve got to admit life in a way is what happens in teleseryes. kaso lang walang director na magsasabing “CUT” kung mali ang linya mo or worst if you messed up. siguro kaya ang Pilipino mahilig magdrama dahil na rin sa kakapanuod ng teleserye. mga artista man ang gumaganap pero never mo bang naramdaman na minsan ang mga nangyayari dun ay nangyari na rin sa buhay mo? remember, teleseryes are inspired by what happens in real life.. may kurot sa puso ika nga. ang pinagkaiba lang, parang sobrang liit ng mundo nila at magkakakilala ang mga kilala nila.. and yung mga kontrabida eh super kontrabida at ang bida, madalas api.. ganun lang siguro.. at least madalas happy naman ang ending. kaya kahit pa busy ka sa ginagawa mo, kapag palabas na ang paborito mong soap opera – ihihinto mo muna. corny at baduy daw nga siguro ang teleserye.. kaya nga siguro corny at baduy din ako.. =)

... my everything!

my jolo... Benjamin Lorenzo Calicdan..


phone rings… who could be calling at this hour? i really had a hard time getting to sleep and could barely remember dozing off and now this! i need to be back at the laboratory at 8pm and it’s still 1pm. the person at the other end’s got to be ready for the brunt of my rising temper…

“hello..” i sleepily and grumpily answered… “hello mama!!!” was the rapturous reply.. i jumped awake! how could I forget? it was my jolo on the phone… “hello mama? natutulog kaw mama?” was the apologetic yet sweet pahabol after realizing that i must’ve been awakened by his call.. “okay lang baby…” was all I can say and i was fully awake by then.. it is 6pm, philippine time.. oh well, i can get back to sleep later. here is the only person in the world who has the ability to melt my icy moods and cool off my fiery temper in an instant. with a sigh of relief, he started his endless blab about how his first day back to school was, delighted to see his old classmates and be in the same class as his cousin joey. he is now in Prep 1 at Edna’s School in Dagupan City. my sister momentarily interrupts and takes the phone from an adamant jolo.. “hay alam mo yang anak mo napaka hyperactive sa klase! malikot pero attentive naman at nangongopya na ng assignments, pero lagi nagcocomplain bakit daw ang dami niyang assignments… hinahanap siya nung ibang kaklase niya kasi gustong gusto daw sya..” (naku mukhang mr. friendship ang anak ko ah!).. ate ko talaga.. couldn’t hide the pride sa boses nya.. kulang nalang siya ang nanganak hehehe… (hindi na kasi nag-asawa hay.. kaya iniispoil ang anak ko!) jolo back on the phone… “mama tapos ko na assignments ko… nuod na ko Enkantadia tsaka All About Ed.. (kapuso ang anak ko hehe.. addict sa tv at playstation!).. he continues to rumble on. galing daw sila sa birthday party pero nung lumapit si Hetty (jollibee mascot) itinago daw ang ulo sa ilalim ng mesa.. hehe.. duwag! having noticed him, nilapitan sya ng mascot at sinubuan ng spaghetti.. kumain naman sya but as Hetty left, ang lalim daw ng buntong-hininga! never na nasanay sa mascot hahaha even during his past birthdays.. now he was reminding me to send his rubber shoes.. yung may gulong na nakahiga was his fond description (well the story is he used to ask me to buy him this shoes with wheels kaso sabi ng tita nya wag daw at delikado, so i sent him this nike shox instead.. ayun explanation sa kanya eh may gulong din yun kaso nakahiga.. you could never fool a kid! hehe) tska yung another toy… i told him it was on the way. (actually as soon as he told me about this, i had to rush off somewhere para lang mabili yun.. bottomline is a colleague had to buy it in jeddah which is about 4 hours from here kasi wala nun dito..)… next he was telling me na showing na ang BATMAN BEGINS sa CSI Lucao and dahil pinangakuan ng ate ko manunuod sila the next day.. buti pa siya, ako i have to content myself with pirated CDs hehehe wala naman kasing original dito. I told him to make sure tapos lahat ng school work bago maglaro and that he has to behave always. it is such a relief to know that he is always at his best behavior, nun nga minsang napagbintangan sya na nanuntok na kaklase niyang babae eh umiyak daw ng pagkalakas lakas at hindi daw siya yun, buti nalang ganun din sinabi ng kaklase nya. he even consoles a new classmate dahil umiiyak sa klase at iniwan na ng guardian niya. my son is soooo sweet.. and i am such a proud mom.

Next i heard him saying kakantahan daw niya ako.. well i was expecting another jolo rendition of insy-winsy spider or ABC but i surprisingly listened to a high pitched kid singing ‘SASAKYAN KITA, SA LAHAT NG GUSTO MO, SASAKYAN KITA BASTA SASAKYAN MO RIN AKO…” whatever happened to my toes, my knees or twinkle, twinkle little star? yan na ba ang tinuturo sa Preparatory Class ngayon hehehe… i was laughing so hard but in fairness he has a good singing voice.. makes me proud even more.

actually, the conversation was mostly talking on his part and listening on mine.. but i didn’t mind a bit.. just hearing his voice was enough to make me forget what a tiring week i had and that another busy week is coming. as always, goodbyes were so difficult because i’ll be left with this void inside that’s been missing him for so long.. well, he has to sleep na daw but actually naiinip na yun at gusto na manuod ng tv.. my sweet baby.. after making bilin na "mag-iingat ikaw mama dyan" and repeated i love you mama with a thousand kisses over the phone the conversation ended. oh well, i guess i better get back to sleep. be back to work again in a couple of hours... ganito buhay dito.. work, eat, sleep - well barely! the sacrifices we have to make for the love of our lives.. it's all worth it... I will always thank God for the greatest gift that came into my life.. my jolo.. my everything! =)

.... in a nutshell.

busy days...


summer’s definitely here… sobrang init! imagine being in the desert – grabe! so maybe I could blame the rise in temperature for my consistent hot temper. kulang nalang lahat sila singhalan ko sa inis at pagod. i guess this people don’t understand that ordinary human beings need to rest too. working round the clock, with almost only 6 hours sleep.. a bite or two before rushing off to more work.. whew.. kakapagod talaga. i even have to take home some paperworks and they expect me to meet tight deadlines and do their work for them?! ano sila, hilo! it’s eating up all my patience. everything i do now seems to be a great effort. in short – hindi na ko masaya sa ginagawa ko. buti nalang the errors i make are minimal kung hindi pagpipyestahan nanaman ako ng mga piranha dito who’s just waiting for me to slip. i just hope this season passes on with more speed. really looking forward to cooler days. oh well.. that’s another buzzer for me – more tests to do. there goes my break time!

june 11 – 24, 2005

MSDS docs - done!
Plot QC charts - checked!
Run daily control - checked!
Reagent inventory - checked!
Pipette testing - checked!
Centrifuge speed - pending … (no tacometer!! Hello! Pano papasa?!)
BB ref/alarm - pending.. (pasabugin nalang kaya? Repair nalang ng repair!)
Blood units available - 3 “AB+”, 2 “AB-“ , 4 “A+”, 2 “A-“, 3 “B+”, 2 “B-“, 6 “O+”, 5 “O-“, 4 units expired!
QAP documents - for revision – 25% done
Memo - on my desk (may bukas pa naman..)

Priority

Sleep -- later!
Eat -- barely…
Shower -- 3 times!
Wash clothes -- okay… (sigh!)
Check e-mails -- done!
Check who’s on line -- will definitely do that!
Check blog site -- any new pix doc?
Call jolo -- of course!
Pray -- always!

... quality tym! =)

break tym...

To my stress relievers.... doc chris, aye, maui, mira.. and oh there's liza, shiela and lyndon. Thank you so much for bearing with me. Life is such a bore out here without you guys to talk to. I'll always thank God for having great firiends like you. This is what I call quality time! =)

... and it keeps getting sucher & sucher.

It's 219AM, Sunday morning.. and this is my second cuppa coffee. Need to stay awake or I'll have trouble keeping my eyes open when the laboratory requests eventually come. I'm even too tired to think of another policy for the upcoming accreditation and my temper's still flaring from the argument I've had with our Lab Director previously. I'm bone-tired and I still have exactly 5hrs&41mins before I can finally doze off to never-never land. Whoever thought of implementing a 12-hour duty must be totally out of their element. Well what am I complaining about? It is Management's Rules and since they sign my paychecks that pays for the bills then that makes the boss always right. Got to keep myself busy.

I'm just another OFW... out of my beloved country in search of greener pastures. Miles away from home in a country where women's rights is as foreign as mini-skirts. I've been working here in Taif, Saudi Arabia for two years now. Well what could be greener than this? I earn my keep after an honest days work.. I love it when I hear my son's ecstatic voice over the phone full of stories about how he's had an enjoyable Sunday after going to church and syempre diretso ng Jollibee yan.. kung ilang chicken joy ang naubos nya.. or mas masarap ang burger ng KFC kesa McDo.. or nabangga nya yung toy car nyang may remote-remote at kung pwede yung batman naman ang susunod na ipadala ko sa kanya. The simple joys of a child brings great delight to me. He will always be worth all the sacrifices in the world. I want to believe I am a good parent to him because he's well provided for.

I should be happy, right? Wrong! Actually, I'm singing bluer than blue (and I'm really feeling it!).. I miss out on a lot of things that's been happening in his life. His first day in school. I should've been the first to listen to his first nursery rhyme.. See the stars in his examination papers.. Hear about his first crush and actually see him blush when I kid him about it. I miss smelling his sour armpit after playing the entire day and his baby powder scent as we go to sleep at night. I badly miss him, period.

I decided after my contract, I would stay home for good. Then I remembered the news I saw a few hours back from TV Patrol World over The Filipino Channel.. Who am I kidding? Tomorrow, when I've had enough eye-shut I guess I'll be thinking differently.. hmmnn.. Life may be tough, but I am tougher!

Such is life, and it keeps getting sucher & sucher..