... and it keeps getting sucher & sucher.

It's 219AM, Sunday morning.. and this is my second cuppa coffee. Need to stay awake or I'll have trouble keeping my eyes open when the laboratory requests eventually come. I'm even too tired to think of another policy for the upcoming accreditation and my temper's still flaring from the argument I've had with our Lab Director previously. I'm bone-tired and I still have exactly 5hrs&41mins before I can finally doze off to never-never land. Whoever thought of implementing a 12-hour duty must be totally out of their element. Well what am I complaining about? It is Management's Rules and since they sign my paychecks that pays for the bills then that makes the boss always right. Got to keep myself busy.

I'm just another OFW... out of my beloved country in search of greener pastures. Miles away from home in a country where women's rights is as foreign as mini-skirts. I've been working here in Taif, Saudi Arabia for two years now. Well what could be greener than this? I earn my keep after an honest days work.. I love it when I hear my son's ecstatic voice over the phone full of stories about how he's had an enjoyable Sunday after going to church and syempre diretso ng Jollibee yan.. kung ilang chicken joy ang naubos nya.. or mas masarap ang burger ng KFC kesa McDo.. or nabangga nya yung toy car nyang may remote-remote at kung pwede yung batman naman ang susunod na ipadala ko sa kanya. The simple joys of a child brings great delight to me. He will always be worth all the sacrifices in the world. I want to believe I am a good parent to him because he's well provided for.

I should be happy, right? Wrong! Actually, I'm singing bluer than blue (and I'm really feeling it!).. I miss out on a lot of things that's been happening in his life. His first day in school. I should've been the first to listen to his first nursery rhyme.. See the stars in his examination papers.. Hear about his first crush and actually see him blush when I kid him about it. I miss smelling his sour armpit after playing the entire day and his baby powder scent as we go to sleep at night. I badly miss him, period.

I decided after my contract, I would stay home for good. Then I remembered the news I saw a few hours back from TV Patrol World over The Filipino Channel.. Who am I kidding? Tomorrow, when I've had enough eye-shut I guess I'll be thinking differently.. hmmnn.. Life may be tough, but I am tougher!

Such is life, and it keeps getting sucher & sucher..